Houston, TX

Lesley Alberty is a mother of four who moves frequently due to her husband’s job. After two years in Pittsburgh, the Alberty family just moved to Fort Bend. She has a few tips to ease children’s entrance into a new school.

1. Take it slow. Go day to day. Help your child set realistic expectations and a frame of reference. For example, let your child know honestly that he or she will be the new child and this means other children won’t know what he or she likes, won’t know his or her name, etc. Depending upon your child’s personality, help your child come up with specific methods of introducing him- or herself and getting to know other children.

2. If you enter in the middle of a school year, or even at the beginning, ask the school for information. Learn the schedule your child will have, the teacher’s name, current assignments, and the layout of the school. For example, help your child make a map and overlay a schedule on the map, such as, “Here’s the door I enter, here’s my classroom, there’s the gym, that’s next, then lunch…” about the schedule.

3. Show that you are comfortable with the school and display confidence about your child’s ability to join the school.

4. Find things to look forward to and be excited about, other than friends. For example,  talk about what a neat playground the school has, or find out what the class will be reading and get excited about the books your child will get to read.

5. Reinforce the positive. Remind your child about positive experiences she or he had at the last school. Build self-esteem by helping your child remember all he or she has accomplished (for example, made friends, did well in class spelling bee, got a part in the class play and did well, etc.). Your child can feel proud about all he or she has achieved, and can believe that is possible again.

6. Join outside school activities. This is a good way to meet other children and socialize. But, be careful to not get overloaded and remember not all activities need to begin at the start of school. Consider how many new things and transitions you ask a child to make all at once. Outside activities also build self-esteem and remind your child of a broader world, beyond the school classroom.

7. Pay attention to your child’s cues about how he or she is adjusting. Check in with your child each day and ask specific questions, not questions that are too general and vague, or could garner a yes/no response. For example, ask your child: What story did your teacher read? Was there a challenging math problem? What activity did you do in gym? Did anyone tell a funny joke or make you laugh today? Find out what your child felt good about during the day, and what was a challenge. Encourage pride of accomplishment, and talk through ways to work out challenges.

8. If it’s not going well, for example, your child is not making friends, help your child make friends through other outlets such as in activities or neighborhood…remind you child it’s okay to not have a best buddy in class because school is for learning.

9. Keep up family activities. The family activities give a good, solid foundation. Do fun things together such as go to museums, the library, beach etc. This also gives sense of community, and reminds your child to not center too much on school.

10. Support your child in keeping in touch with old friends and past teachers. Buy a package of postcards and help your child write to friends.

Good luck with a new school year, especially if you are in a new place.